REGRET

This topic is too close to my heart.

At some point, everyone must have gone through this emotion. The feeling of Regret leaves you feeling sorry, guilty, remorseful, self-pity and you wish you could turn back the hands of time. This leads you to utter words like;

If I had known…

I wish I did…

If only…

What if I had done ‘this’ I wouldn’t have been in ‘this’ situation…

In this situation, we tend to blame ourselves, or even someone, or some circumstance. Before I cite a personal experience, let’s define the verb, Regret.

Regret, as defined by a group of American psychologists is a negative cognitive/emotional state where one feels sad or disappointed and involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been or wished we could undo a previous choice we made.

There is no such thing as a life without regrets. Some regrets might be minor; like buying the wrong color of cloth, spending the money you did not intend to, not changing a field of study, etc. However other regrets become a burden on you as you tend to keep replaying that memory and dwelling in negativity. There is always a chance to do something better.

When I lost my dad early last year, I did not see it coming. I had so much confidence that he would get better from his illness. If I knew he was leaving, I would have spent more time with him, ask him a lot of questions about himself, fill him with joy and generally make him feel loved & appreciated. Thinking about that makes me feel like a failure. I have lost the only chance to get to know him better and reciprocate all the love. At this point I’m in tears I have no more words.

Another Scenario of regret is not taking online courses or starting a business while I was in school. Right now I feel no zeal to study and I get burnt out anytime I try to code. Or perhaps coding is not for me. Lol.

Actually, I believe I can code, I just lack the interest. But Insha Allah I’m working on that. And the business. Please comment with learning tips and Business ideas. Thank you xx.

OH! I almost forgot to mention something foolish I did and really regretted. I had to chip this in at the dying minute. Anyway, I was trying to be dramatic so I told my boyfriend that an admirer of his messaged me with pictures of them together. I ignored him afterwards, trying to create suspense. However, it boomeranged on me because he called to confront her and then realized the truth. He was so pissed at me I thought we were going to break up. I was so embarrassed because I made him embarrass himself. I feel foolish anytime I think about that. Lol.

As a way of comforting myself, I have found ways to make me feel better whenever i start to regret;

· I remember that I pray for my Dad and Insha Allah my prayer gets to him

· I try to be a good ambassador of my family generally, as I bear his name

· Remind myself that it is okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from it and forgive yourself

· Find the fun in everything, that way you don’t dwell in negative situations

· Be open to corrections

· Make time for things and people that are important

· Live one day at a time. Live in the present.

At this point I should not bore you anymore, Lol.

Remember to fast tomorrow being Thursday Insha Allah.

Ma’assalam.