2022 Was Wholesome; What are you looking forward to, come 2023 ?
It’s that season of the year again; almost everyone’s favorite! You really cannot help but feel nostalgic. A season of reminiscing events from the inception of the year, pondering on your present situation and imagining the events of the coming year. Weighing and auditing your life; achieved and hopeful goals. This season comes with mixed feelings that are brutal to some, sad to others, fulfilling to quite a number and bittersweet to a cluster.
At this moment if you’re to ask yourself what you have achieved in the year 2022, some would say it’s been a sad year. But come on, lets weigh in. Often times sadness overwhelms the little happy moments we experience, & as humans, we are forgetful! Let’s quickly reminisce about the days we were healthy, days we hung out with friends and thought life was worth it again, days we got unexpected money, times we had no hope and a random stranger comes to our aid, days we thought we are incapable of doing something and Allah miraculously made us do it, and all other days we experienced unexpected grace from Allah the almighty, the exalted. One thing for sure, Allah would never burden his slave more than he can bear.
We make life changing realizations everyday. Without a doubt this year, you have GROWN. Much beyond your imagination.
Here’s a quick recap of my 2022;
January: This was a fun month for me. Had events that made me happy and put me in a good mood. Organized a beautiful memorable picnic for my work colleagues, and another one for boyfriend and i(now ex). Started having anxiety about finishing NYSC because, my chances of getting a job appeared slim(as a Nigerian orphan with no connections, you know how it is). I also started the blog I’ve always wanted to! If i were to rate this month, i would give it an 8/10.
February: For some reasons this month appears blurry to me right now. I began having anxiety, and smelling an approaching heartbreak. I also started my Job-hunting journey, lol. A 7/10 for February!
March: My anxiety got a bit worse. I was forcing my head out of the thoughts of an incoming heartbreak. I mourned the one year of my father’s death, and crazy enough, i chopped breakfast the next day. This was the beginning of my year-long of depression. A 5 out of 10 month.
April: In this month, i completed my NYSC. I’ve always heard of the post-NYSC depression, which i prayed against. And trust me with my positive mindset, i created a safe space in my house which i refer to as my office, lol. I drafted a routine for myself, and would wake up 8am to go to my ‘OFFICE” and study, lol. This period was beautiful to me. Unforgettable. Priceless. 8/10.
May went by in a blur, with my continuous routine and positive mindset. With my constant prayers, while still battling with heartbreak. It was heavy, but beautiful. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Then came a job offer from my friend’s dad, and i was so delighted. It didn’t end up actualizing, but I'm grateful and also glad it didn’t. At this point i was already broke and avoiding my friends, because small gist like this will make them suggest an outing, which i hate to be a party pooper with my depressing financial issues. 7/10.
June came with yet another job offer from my same friend’s dad; this also didn’t actualize due to unforeseen reasons, but i’m also glad. Kudos, also to myself, for still maintaining a positive mindset after these two disappointments. I was willing to embrace tawakkul rather than allow it to break me. At the end of this month, i got a contract job offer from my dad’s friend! This was huge and flexible. God bless him, he changed my life and made me a big girl, lol. 8/10.
July was Incredible. A few stress of commuting myself to & from work, but i wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. These are experiences that make us grow. Alhamdulillah for it. Also, this month i started getting to know someone. We are so different yet so similar, and we connected. I wish that person is still in my life now though. Lol. A 9/10 for July.
In August, I was happy, at ease and fulfilled throughout the month. This month showed me how Allah works in mysterious ways. My father’s inheritance was sorted. I was financially stable and confident. I got another Job! With no connection and follow up, whatsoever. Everything happened like a fairytale. A 10/10 for August.
September went on with the same vibe as August. Easy breezy, razzle dazzle and fulfilling. Love everything about this month until i made a mistake in communication, which cost me someone i liked. I still wish i could turn back the hands of time, but unfortunately, it was meant to be and i have decided to leave it that way. Listen folks, Communicate in the most difficult situations, that tough conversation would cost you nothing. Put that pride aside. A 9/10 for september.
October: This month went by in a blur. Mixed emotions, but still grateful. Trust me with the ability to make myself happy in all situations. Thanks to the back to back kdrama I've been watching, this month went by without me realizing. Asides my little emotional higihaga, Life was still easy, Alhamdulillah. 7/10.
November: I wouldn’t really say November was a bad month, but it wasn’t as rosy as the previous two. I battled pain & heartache; the type you cannot tell anyone about. It hurts the most. I started driving this month as well. My boss also put to birth, which means i will relieve her of her duties, and more responsibilities for me. Unfortunately, I now report to someone toxic, whose presence suffocates me (yeah i may be exaggerating but you get me). I took my siblings on dates and it was fulfilling. All in all I'd give this month a 5/10.
December: This started with an accident by my sister. It broke my heart because i did not see it coming. But it was fine, she was not traumatized(i even seem more traumatized than her). I also made a vow to assume someone does not exist to me. Someone i had liked so so much. It is a decision that i had to make, for my own sanity. This month, i made moneyyyy! If you see me, bill me. 8/10.
At the end of the year, I’m grateful for all the wins, the loss, the growth, the redirected prayers and the unexpected blessings. Surely it is not by my doing, but the will of Allah. I feel genuinely fulfilled and contented.
I can feel my heart beating already at the thought of sharing/unburdening myself from such huge information, grief, thoughts and feelings.
I hope 2023 comes by as rosy as August for me, or even more. What are you looking forward to, come 2023 ?
A preacher of Love as always,
Benazir.
